The strangest feeling

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Today the strangest thing happened. I went back to work after the holidays – and I actually felt confident! I never usually feel confident. Nervous yes, anxious yes, stressed yes but never confident. And what’s even stranger is it stayed like that all day!

I didn’t even have to deal with the crippling anxiety the night before. It’s a very weird feeling. Nice, but weird. Today I walked in and I felt comfortable with who I was. I felt confident that I could do my job and do it pretty well! I rocked that confidence outfit today 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Helpful washing

Following on from my cringe-worthy admission in my last post, I have another housework related source of happiness…I know, I need to get a life. But seriously, being the resident washing fairy is made so much easier when washing is already turned the correct way round. It makes me so happy when I’m pairing up socks and I find one that is already turned the right way round – I can’t tell you how many hours of my life have been wasted turning socks! And when I’m doing the ironing and a t-shirt hops out of the basket already turned inside out, it practically flies off the ironing board with the time I’ve saved having to wrestle with it to get it in a fit state to be ironed. Now, although you might think this is weird, I bet there are lots of you out there who have just read this and smiled because you know exactly what I’m talking about…

Sundays

zumba sunday

I love Sundays.

Well that was a short post! 🙂 I really do love Sundays and I think I love them so much now because in the past they have been a day of the week that filled me with dread. In my previous jobs I always worked weekends so it didn’t really register as anything special, and as a teacher they were a day that put a knot in my stomach and made me want to hide under the covers in denial. You see, I always chose to leave my ‘home’ work (see what I did there? :D) for Sundays which I know is a terrible habit, but by Friday evening I was so exhausted that I couldn’t wait to have a break. By Sunday, the work couldn’t wait any longer so my day was always filled with planning, marking, making resources, writing emails and an endless list of other jobs that I had neglected to do. I always missed out on anything fun that happened on a Sunday and by the evening I was usually tired, grumpy and not ready for Monday. Now not all teachers live like that I am pleased to say, but that was my experience and I hated it. Since I have changed my job, Sundays have become a day that I adore, and it’s not because I’m having the time of my life on endless adventures…nope, instead I love Sundays because I have time to cook a nice breakfast, take the dog for a lovely walk, go to my mum and dad’s for Sunday lunch and stay an extra hour to play board games. I love having time to sort out the washing and do the ironing because these are all the seemingly normal activities I never had time to do before. Today is the 40th Sunday that I have been able to enjoy and the novelty has still not worn off.

Make up moments

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Until about ten years ago I’d never really worn make up at all. Then I acquired a few bits and wore it occasionally when I went out. The reason I gave was that I was allergic to most makeup and my skin was too sensitive. In truth these were excuses. I didn’t like myself enough at that point to make the effort to look good. I didn’t think I deserved to look nice and I didn’t want to be considered attractive by other people.

Since I came out on here over three months ago things couldn’t be more different. I’ve felt so much more confident and happier and I am actually starting to wear make up, not just a little bit occasionally but actually properly and regularly. Now I am certainly not saying that I need makeup to feel good about myself, quite the opposite. Because I like myself I think I deserve to look nice and I like the way I look when I wear makeup.

Ive actually had several people compliment me for the way my make up looks! Yes me, who didn’t have a clue how to do more than put on mascara! I’ve spent more money on makeup and beauty products in the last three months than I think I have done in the rest of my life lol.

I like experimenting with different looks and colours and products. I like learning how to get better at something. I like how I look both with and without makeup on. Makeup up is most definitely a happy little moment for me now!

Summer Fun

Summer on a beach

Summer seems while ago now I’m back at work and in the routines again. But I just wanted to tell you about my summer. I didn’t do anything particularly special, no holidays of a lifetime or anything, but I had fun, lots of fun.

I laughed lots, I caught up with lots of friends, I read, I relaxed and I ate out far more than my bank balance or my waist line allowed for! But most of all I learnt to love myself a little bit.

I enjoyed my own company sometimes, although there were days where I drove myself mad too! I discovered the world of make up and I love it! I actually like the way I look when I step out the house in the morning. And I learnt to be more myself and not to care as much what people think.

Its still definitely a work in progress but this summer I definitely took some big steps towards learning to love myself.