This is Me

As I’m not quite sure how to start this post I’m just going to go for it. I’m gay. There I said it. It’s taken me a long time to feel comfortable with who I am and I’m sure this has contributed to my years of anxiety and depression.

I first knew I was ‘different’ when I was about 14. Everyone was talking about fancying boys and I just didn’t. The only idols I had were girls. Mainly from Neighbours and Home and Away! I didn’t even know there were options not to like boys then.

By the time I got to university (unbelievably twenty years ago now!) I knew the word for how I felt and I told a few people how I felt – we are no longer in contact which pretty much says it all. So I learned to keep quiet and just to go along with it when people talked about boys and later men they fancied.

Then in my twenties I tried again I told someone I thought I might be gay… and it wasn’t a disaster. But by then I was so caught up in the throws of my anxiety that I was terrified of being judged and being unable to cope.

Fast forward to now. I have a circle of amazing friends who just accept me for who I am. I went to pride with a friend from work and loved it. I can chat about girls in the staff room and am (almost) comfortable with it.

So here I am, every rainbow coloured, pink and sparkly, girl loving bit of me! Take me or leave me, your  choice but I think I am finally happy with who I am and I’m proud. IMG_1103

4 thoughts on “This is Me

  1. Paula says:

    I love it!
    You are amazing just being who you are and I am soooooo happy
    that thanks to the blog we have become friends.
    Karen, you rock!
    XXX, Paula

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s