A candle in the darkness

burning-candle

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I’m not going to lie – these last couple of weeks have been TOUGH for so many reasons. The kind of tough where you can feel yourself starting to wallow in self pity because nothing is going right and everything feels like a constant uphill struggle (if you ask my mum I’m a bit of a pro at wallowing in self pity so read in to that what you will!). The last couple of weeks have had me concentrating on just putting one foot in front of the other, getting through the next hour, next part of the day, next part of the week. Sometimes that’s what’s needed and if that’s what gets you through the hard times then so be it. Unfortunately, while I was busy doing that I wasn’t finding the time or the inclination to write blog posts. I wasn’t noticing the happiness around me because frankly nothing felt particularly happy, I could taint anything good with a burst of negativity and that was that. But now that I am feeling more on an even keel I can definitely say that I have noticed sparks of light around me over the last couple of weeks. At work we pride ourselves on being a family and that has never stood out more to me than it has this last week or so. I’ve had so many colleagues asking how I am, listening to my worries, texting me to see if I’m ok, offering kind words of encouragement, hugs, cups of tea, tissues, and giving up their time to cover my work for a bit. Now that I look back on it, it is honestly overwhelming how wonderful they all are. When I think about them it brings a smile to my face and I hope they realise how much they have made the last couple of weeks bearable. Although I can’t say it was a happy little moment at the time, now I certainly feel a little flicker of happiness in my tummy to know that people care about me enough to offer me a candle in the darkness.

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